Father Guido Sarducci on Art School

Father Guido Sarducci (Don Novello) explains the advantages of being an artist. Produced by George Manupelli and William Farley in 1982 at San Francisco Art Institute.

Why Didn't I Think of That?

An entertaining and cheeky music video by the Franco-American band.

These clever folks offer a wink at art history as band members playfully reconstruct famous paintings in an off the wall lyrical interpretation all their own.

Murray Hill Incorporated is Running for Congress!

Until now, corporations only influenced politics with high-paid lobbyists and backroom deals. But today, thanks to an enlightened Supreme Court, Corporations now have all the rights the founding fathers meant for us.

That's why Murray Hill Incorporated is taking democracy's next step - running for Congress.

“Let’s Franchise Democracy!” Franchise Opportunity Here.

Evidently Joe Lieberman Wants a Pony

Check out this funny sock puppet video of Senator Joe Lieberman holding health care hostage for his list of personal demands.

From MoveOn.org

Breaking News: Senate Unveils CompromiseCare

New Details of Healthcare Plan Revealed:

WASHINGTON (The Blue Dog Report) - The United States Senate today unveiled details of its health care plan, tentatively called CompromiseCare:

Under CompromiseCare, people with no coverage will be allowed to keep their current plan.

Medicare will be extended to 55-year-olds as soon as they turn 65.

You will have access to cheap Canadian drugs - if you live in Canada.

States whose names contain vowels will be allowed to opt out of the plan.

You get to choose whichever doctor you cannot afford to see.

You will not have to be pre-certified to qualify for cremation.

A patient will be considered "pre-existing" if he or she currently still exists.

You'll be free to choose between medications and/or heating fuel.

Patients can access quality health care if they can prove their name is "Joe Lieberman," are Republican Congress Persons, or have accepted favors from one or more Insurance Lobbyists.

You will have access to natural remedies - such as death.

"Aroma Lisa"

What would Leonardo think?

It measures an impressive 20 feet high and 13 feet wide and took a team of eight people three hours to complete.

The different colours were created by adding no, little or lots of milk to each cup of black coffee.

It was created for The Rocks Aroma Festival in Sydney, Australia, and seen by 130,000 people who attended the one-day coffee-lovers event.

The Iconic Mona Lisa has been reproduced so many times in so many different mediums but, as far as I know, never out of coffee.

You're looking at 3,604 cups of coffee!

The Ethical Use of Gummi Bears?

I was reading labels on some new art materials this morning and thinking about keeping my paintings archival.

There's a lot of chemistry involved in traditional painting.

See my sad tales in blue at the end of this post.

I used to love the experiments we did in grade school chemistry class.

And here's one of my favorites that involves Gummi Bears.

Now, of course, we will no longer be allowed to take gummi bears on airplanes.

And we must consider the ethics of using gummi bears in experiments like these.

Besides a sweet tooth and a passion for red Gummi Bears, why did I post this?

I've made some awful stupid (sometimes chemical) mistakes. They took me by surprise - sort of like that video clip above.

!. I've got cracked paint from not following the "fat over lean" rule. I fixed that by following the rules and using Winsor-Newton's Liquin or Gamblin's Galkyd Lite in all of my layers.

2. I once got a tip from a painter I admired (and unfortunately trusted) in The Netherlands who said he used house paint to tone his canvas. When I did that a sweet little still life cracked and the paint flaked off after 4 years. Grrrrr, it still hurts.

3. I once mixed my own rabbit skin glue and it took a week to get that smell out of the studio. I had to toss out an expensive - but smelly - canvas.

4. I once painted a canvas with Genesis, forgot that I had used that special kind of paint and a year later I "varnished" it. The paint wrinkled up like an old prune and refused to dry. A painting I liked was ruined and had to be tossed. If you use Genesis Paint (it is wonderful non-toxic stuff) you must not mix other materials with it.

5. I stretched a piece of linen on regular stretchers - 24" x 30," and slaved over the painting for a long time. It hung framed in my studio one winter when the heat was turned off for a week. The linen suddenly dried out and shrunk snapping a long stretcher bar. The painting had to be restretched and I lost 6" off the right side. It wrecked the composition and I cannot sell it. Now I only use heavy-duty stretcher bars for work 20" x 24" and larger.

A Billionaire Speaks Candidly

Seeing the other side can help us put things in their proper perspective, eh?

Satire-Challenged GOPers often get confused and back the "Billionaires for Wealthcare" group. HA!

Gone Phishing

Tough to believe, but there are scam emails targeting artists.

Sometimes they're downright goofy, and sometimes they're a wee bit creepy:

HELLO WELLS,

I AM VERY INTERESTING IN BUYING YOUR (Elizabeth Brewer Wells oil on linen)IN WHICH I SAW ON THE INTERNETS.

I WILL WANT YOU TO LET ME KNOW ITS LAST PRICE,,,,SO THAT I CAN MAKE ARRANGEMENTS ON HOW THE PAYMENT WILL BE MADE TO YOUR BANKING ACCOUNT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

EXPECT YOUR FASTEST RESPOND OF YOU SO I WILL ARRANGE TO SEND MY PEOPLE TO PICK UP ARTWORKS AT YOUR LOCATION.

SIR RAY,TERRY.

ESQUIRE

Send "his people" to my studio? Eeeeew, I don't think so!

However temptimg it might be to sell the portrait of my husband's Grandmother (above) for "last price" big bucks - I smelled a rat and passed on "Sir Ray, Terry Esquire's" generous offer.

The funniest scam-thing I ever read on the Internet was "The Porcine Princess Chronicles" by Brad Christensen. I found his post on the Cyber Museum of Scams and Frauds.

These photos above are from Brad Christensen's hilarious exchange with a scam artist claiming to be a filthy rich and pretty twenty-seven year old Princess named Maria Ojo Ofem of the Ogoni Kingdom in Nigeria. She emailed him "because she wants to invest $23,560,000.oo with him.....and he manages to drive "her" nuts.

Like the rest of us, Brad Christensen has been deluged with every type of "URGENT" offer imaginable from scam artists.

But unlike the rest of us, he decided to fight back by conning the con men.

With humor and imagination as his weapons, Christensen preyed on the scammers' abundant supply of both greed and ignorance.

Check it out. And have a good laugh.

Seriously, please don't ever fall for these art scams. Some are more sophisticated than others but they all have the same general flavor. I figure I get about three art scams per week.

Here's today's toxic tome that just popped into my inbox:

Good day to you.

I am so excited that I came across of your work on internet search,I am interested in purchasing these creative artworks from you.....................

Apples,Hopeful sky,Cherries,Meadowlands #4 and Pear still life

Let me know their various prices.and how much discounts are you going to give?I will be happy to have these selected artworks hanged in our new home in South Africa. As well, I want you to take out the shipping cost.I have been in touch with a shipping firm that will be shipping other house decoratives.

We are traveling from our Dallas home to our new apartment as soon as possible.On Paying for the artworks,I will be glad to pay you with a Money Order or Cashier`s check in US funds that can be easily cashed at your local bank,please let me know on how to proceed for the payment of the creative artworks.

I will await your advise on how to proceed.Have a wonderful day.

Take care,
Joan Morgan

Sometimes these email art scams are so unintentionally funny that I laugh 'till I cry. And I'm sorry I didn't save any of the howlers to post here.

Just hit the delete button when they arrive. Times are tough all over and I can only imagine how desperate the economy is where these scams originate.

Billionaires for Wealthcare Join the Debate

Finally, a good laugh and a group worth joining...and not a moment too soon.

"Billionaires for Wealthcare" is a grassroots network of health insurance CEOs, industry lobbyists, talk-show hosts, and others profiting off of our broken health care system.

Above, Ms. Z Roe Compassion protests at the Teabagger's 9-12 Rally in DC

Spokesman Phil T. Rich speaks for Billionaires for Wealthcare: "We are not a political, religious or even a particularly well-organized group. We're simple folk, thrilled profiteers pouring out of our corner offices to dance on the grave of "Change."

Healthcare Attys. Bill M. Moore & Frida Market take time out of their lunch hour to lobby for the status quo.

"We'll do whatever it takes to ensure another decade where your pain is our gain. After all, when it comes to healthcare, if we ain't broke, why fix it?"

Billionaires nationwide are experimenting with the rabble rousing typically reserved for America’s lower castes, and rising to the defense of health care profits.

Some of their signs and slogans are very catchy and can be downloaded directly from their website along with directions for starting your own chapter of Billionaires for Wealthcare.

The Billionaires encourage a little creative gold embossment around the edges to provide a tasteful je ne sais quoi.

At long last, mocking the anti-reform forces wherever Teabaggers gather can not only be fun - it can save your sanity.

Above, Billionaire Atty Lou Pole takes time out from screeching "survival of the richest" - to enjoy a bottle of Montrachet 1978 from Domaine de la Romanée-Conti.

Appearances are everything. It has occasionally been reported that some Billionaires have tried to gather in casual garb, and to those deviant individualists, the group has only this to say: "Formal is Normal."

Casual (but cashmere) Yachting attire might be the exception.

Here's a quote from the Billionaire website:

"We know that there is a great wealth of diversity among the extremely rich — and therefore among our fashion choices as well. Billionaires come in all colors, shapes and sizes. We have old money and oil money and dot-com money and money at work and money on vacation and daytime money and evening money.

But as important as it is to honor the diversity of our ranks, it is even more important to preserve the traditional image of the Billionaire in America.

Visual unity is very important to us. Remember, it takes conformity, not individuality, to become a Billionaire for Wealthcare.

So don your black suits and evening gowns, and hit the streets!"

Billie O'Nair is thinking ahead to the 2012 election.

The Billionaires have their chants. And the first one is a real crowd pleaser:

Bring Back Bush!
Hey Hey, Ho Ho, Keep the Profits with the CEOs
You say health gap, I say wealth gap.
Stock options, yes! Public Option, no!
Your pain, our gain.
Walk. It. Off.
Wealthcare, Not Healthcare!
Fear, Lies, Sedition! Pre-Existing-Condition!

And The Billionaires have their songs - Lyrics by Felonius Ax

Minister of Musical Manipulation (TheBillionaires.org):

“Let’s Save the Status Quo”

(to the tune of “Battle Hymn Of The Republic”)

Rejoice and let us glory in the profits we attain

By rationing the remedies for suffering and pain.

And no one's gonna mess with all our monetary gain.

Let's save the status quo!

Chorus:

If our healthcare corporation

Never faces regulation,

We'll be brimming with elation!

Let's save the status quo!

We bought a bunch of senators and congresspeople too.

They serve our corporate interests and we tell them what to do.

This gravy train will stop the day a healthcare bill gets through.

Let's save the status quo!

Chorus: If our healthcare corporation (etc.)

Our PR team is crackerjack. We’re framing the debate!

We’re spreading lots of lies and we’re unleashing lots of hate.

We’ll drive a stake into the bill the day it leaves the gate.

Let's save the status quo!

Chorus: If our healthcare corporation (etc.)

A decent public option is an option we won’t bear.

And Medicare for Everyone would kill our market share.

We’ll never win the game if all the rules are just and fair.

Let's save the status quo!

Chorus: If our healthcare corporation (etc.)

In every other wealthy nation healthcare is a right.

But not here in America, no not without a fight!

We’re fighting for the right to monstrous profits day and night.

Let's save the status quo!

Chorus: If our healthcare corporation (etc.)

“Your Healthcare Company”

(To the tune of “America The Beautiful”)

Insurance for the uninsured

we've got just what you need:

A really high deductible

You never can exceed.

Our customers, we're there for you

Your healthcare company.

You're just the folks we love to screw

From sea to shining sea!

That swelling in your abdomen,

That throbbing in your wrist,

We treat none of your symptoms 'cause

They clearly preexist!

Our customers, we're there for you

Your healthcare company.

You're just the folks we love to screw

From sea to shining sea!

You're filing your claim and you hope

We're paying for your cure.

We're canceling your policy.

You're too sick to insure!

Our customers, we're there for you

Your healthcare company.

You're just the folks we love to screw

From sea to shining sea!

“We Are On Your Side”

(to the tune of “My Country ‘Tis Of Thee”)

Raising your premiums

Raking in ghastly sums

Coverage denied!

Canceling policies

Causing your bankruptcies

Leaving you on your knees

We are on your side!

And last but not least, The Billionaires for Wealthcare's

Talking Points:

You Deserve the Healthcare you can Afford:

Healthcare is a service and those who can pay more deserve better service. For instance, if a school is burning down and my cat is stuck in a tree, the fire department should get my cat out of the tree first because I can pay a higher premium for their time and effort.

Don’t give the government your money! We are happy to keep gouging you instead.

Government efficiency. Where’s the profit in that?

The current system works… FOR US!:

We like the current system: we get to insure the healthy and offload the sick to taxpayers.

How so? When any one of the 47 million uninsured Americans need care they go to the emergency room – at 5 times the cost of a doctor’s visit! – Taxpayers are already footing that bill nice and quietly everyday. And hospitals get to charge full market rates while we only insure wealthy, healthy customers. It’s a win-win! Well, maybe not for taxpayers…

Sick people are bad for good profits.

We’re a business. We have to cut the weak links in the chain. Sick
people are those weak links.

Some people say the healthcare system is broken. But it works for us.
Just like Congress.

Just imagine all of the new businesses or creative energy people would invest their time and true talents in if they weren’t chained to a job they hated just for “healthcare benefits”. My gawd, ask anyone at the country club – there are way too many nouveau-riche already!

Pre-existing conditions:

We’re happy to accept people with pre-existing conditions: health,
wealth, and youth.

Healthcare is a commodity, not a right.

You want insurance AND a house?! And you call ME greedy?

You think YOU’RE spending a lot on healthcare? Heck, we employ 6
lobbyists for every member of Congress.

Denying Claims:

We deny more claims before 8am than Medicare does all day.

Because nothing says “freedom” like denying claims.

We believe in a free market. We should be free to deny coverage at will.

Recision:

We’re here to stand up for Freedom of Recision.

Some people might call these the real death panels, but its merely good business: we dump customers from our rolls when they become too sick to cover. Just last year three of our health care insurance companies saved $300 million by kicking out a mere 20,000 customers! And about that woman with breast cancer that President Obama mentioned? Are you trying to tell me that acne isn’t a preexisting condition to cancer? But make no mistake, people don’t want the gov’t deciding who should get care. They are happy to leave it up to us and our legions of anonymous temps using strict cost-to-profit ratios.